My husband often complains about my potty-mouth. While I have been known to let the effenheimer slip in extreme situations, this other F-word I've been reading about would never cross my lips. It's the word that caused quite a furor on the set of Grey's Anatomy in October and spilled over to last month's Golden Globe Awards.
     The F-word causing the commotion is a homophobic slur and a slur is never a good thing. Something the good-looking Isaiah Washington, who plays Doctor Preston Burke on Grey's, doesn't get. Washington, who slung the insult at Minnesota's own T. R. Knight, the actor who plays lovable George on the show, is obviously a man with serious issues. The people in charge should fire him. That would give him plenty of time to spend with a good psychologist.
     Engaging in name-calling is for children. Like the younger girl who called me "Tin Grin" and "Metal Mouth" when I was in the eighth grade. My mother promised she would change her tune when my braces came off and I had beautiful straight teeth but the future seemed too far away. I didn't like that girl and her ridicule. She made walking down the halls at school a daily misery.
     She was the same one who made fun of me when I wore a green and yellow jacket one Thursday. It was my first year at this new school and they had funny ideas. Like, if you wore green and yellow on Thursday, you were queer. I didn't know exactly what that meant, just that I didn't want her and her friends to holler it at me again. I made up a story and told my mother I lost the jacket, or it didn't fit, or something like that; anything so I wouldn't have to wear it again. And be called that name again.
     Many years later, I understood what the name meant. But I knew better than to say it. The correct word was homosexual, gay or lesbian. It was at a restaurant with my high school classmates, 15 years after our graduation, that my friend used the L-word to describe herself. I remember taking a long hard look at her and thinking if she was, then it had to be an okay thing. Because she was an okay person. And she was my friend.
     Now, I know many people who wear green and yellow on Thursday. Good people like T. R. Knight and my friend, who shouldn't be called the other F-word. Maybe Mr. Washington never had a mouth full of shiny metal braces. Maybe he never made the mistake of wearing the wrong colors on the wrong day. Maybe he doesn't understand that being called a name hurts.
     Which is why, every time I yelled over my shoulder to that sixth-grade girl, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me," I knew it was a lie. I always felt like crying. Many years later, I understood what the name meant. But I knew better than to say it. The correct word was homosexual, gay or lesbian. It was at a restaurant with my high school classmates, 15 years after our graduation, that my friend used the L-word to describe herself. I remember taking a long hard look at her and thinking if she was, then it had to be an okay thing. Because she was an okay person. And she was my friend.
     Now, I know many people who wear green and yellow on Thursday. Good people like T. R. Knight and my friend, who shouldn't be called the other F-word. Maybe Mr. Washington never had a mouth full of shiny metal braces. Maybe he never made the mistake of wearing the wrong colors on the wrong day. Maybe he doesn't understand that being called a name hurts.
     Which is why, every time I yelled over my shoulder to that sixth-grade girl, "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me," I knew it was a lie. I always felt like crying.